Disabled Guest

[Sandra76]

I currently have a 24 year old disabled guest into the 2nd week of a 3 month stay.  For privacy reasons I will call him Mark (not his real name).  Mark is disabled.  I asked him if he was comfortable sharing his disability with me....he said not yet,but did share he has  IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome).  He has lived with his parents until coming to my town/home.  His hope is to find roommates to move in with and make his home in this town.  I applaud his tenacity.

Mark is very nice; so respectful; courteous; an ideal guest in every way.  His IBS does cause him to use the bathroom very frequently for short periods of time (maybe 5 minutes).  The noise emaniating from the bathroom can be heard all over the house and is most unpleasant....large gas sounds.  I empathize with him so much.  In observance I also think he is  little slow which is fine.  He is successful in managing the city bus system and I do enjoy conversation with him.  Do they make sound-proof bathroom doors?

I feel I need to know his disability in full in case there is an emergency.  Is it ok to ask him this?  I also want to know his insurance information in case of emergency.  Can I ask this also?  I would really like to know his parents phone number in another state in the Midwest but am doubtful I can request same.

His uncle is visiting later this month, in 2 weeks, perhaps I should sit down with both of them and share my concerns?  I really don't know Airbnb's policy on disabled/handicapped guests, and am frustrated trying to find it.  I do not currently have another guest in my home (I rent 2 rooms) but should I have one in the 3 months he has booked, which I accepted without knowing any of this, I feel a need to explain his disability to the incoming guest in case there is a bathroom conflict.  I am Mark's first Airbnb visit.

Feedback please?  I welcome any comments.

Samantha

[Kirstie]

Hi @Sandra76,

This is a good place to ask these kind of questions, other hosts who have had disabled guests may be able to share how they have dealt with these kind of issues in the past.

Just to let you know that I have moved your post here to a new thread so that it is easier for other hosts to find it and give you advice. I have kept the same title as before, let me know if you want me to change it!

Kirstie

[Cynthia-and-Chris1]

My first impression is you are not his mother and he is a grown man.  Worrying about his insurance information and exactly what his disability is, is really not your concern as a housemate/landlord.  If there is a medical emergency, you would call 911 whether you know his insurance information or his exact disability - it would be up to the paramedics and doctors to help him.  If you'd like to collect an emergency contact, you can ask him if he'd be comfortable providing it to you.  If he refuses, that is his decision and you'll have to accept it.

I also think it would be unwise to rent the other bedroom while you have this guest in your home, as there would most certainly be bathroom conflicts, and the way you describe the sounds, most unpleasant for another guest coming to stay on vacation or to have a nice time.  I would most certainly complain and ask to leave if I were in the situation.  I would advise snoozing that listing.

It sounds like he's trying to make his way in the world for the first time and, personally (IMO), by "mothering" him, you are not allowing him to do so. 

[David126]

AirBnB do not have a policy, well non discrimination maybe.

It is up to you but I agree with @Cynthia-and-Chris1, if a guest needs medical help that is a 911 issue.

Maybe a long 3 months, good luck.

[Rachael26]

 @Sandra76  Samantha,

Maybe it is just me having returned from some time in Europe - but I find your title outdated, politically incorrect and potentially offensive (please remember that all these posts are searchable on Google). I wish you would consider a softer or perhaps different title for your post (as suggested by the London administrator @Kirstie) and does a guest with perceived disabilities (whatever they may be) require extra care and consideration from you as a host? Yes, perhaps, depends.... but most certainly depends on the guest and if he wants any.

Obviously this is not the 'usual' Airbnb guest stay (if such a thing exists) but I am thinking from your post that you may be straying into crossing the line and becoming intrusive. I agree with @Cynthia-and-Chris1 and @David126 in that you are not his mother (however well-intention you are feeling) - you are simply his host. And I certainly think that having a discussion with his soon to be visiting uncle would be way over the boundaries - even if the subject gets brought up by him. And certainly you do not 'need to know' about your guest's medical and mental/physical issues - they are his alone and are personal. If they become an issue that affects your own safety or wellbeing then you must make that decision and contact Airbnb immediately. But until they do so, step back and allow your guest to live his life on his own terms.

As to renting out the other bedroom - well you shouldn't have to restrict your earnings because of one guest & IBS - but if a potential 2nd guest has to share a bathroom in your house - then either don't rent it during this time - or mention it in your listing and risk crossing another line in sharing personal information about a guest in your listing.

Tricky one. And like David said - it might be a long 3 months.

Best Wishes

[Sandra76]

Well guys, this has been a huge learning curve for me and I so appreciate and welcome all input/ideas/suggestions/comments.  Twenty years ago I lived with and took care of a young man (chronological age 17; mental age 5) with Down Syndrome.  I was totally in charge of him and feel with this 24 years old guest, I am somewhat slipping into the "caretaker" mode which I don't need to.  I need to take a step back which I will do.  Your kind words, all of you, have allowed me to refocus and decide what I must do with my guest, and not his uncle or anyone else, and do it in a very professional and Airbnb approved way.

My thanks to all of you, you are a great community!

S

[Sandra76]

Rachel,

PS  Thanks soooo much for making me aware that these comments are searchable on Google.  I hadn't a clue.

S

[Rachael26]

@Sandra76 Samantha

Thank you for your recent post.

You are obviously a caring and considerate person - so keep up the good work and continue hosting for Airbnb - it would seem to be the perfect platform for your home (in that guests are looking for a caring, safe environment and the experience, as Airbnb puts it, 'living like a local' - or as I would translate that - 'being looked after by a local' !)

The Airbnb community help rooms and information boards really do have a wealth of information in them - so as you get more familiar with the site - browse and have a read. So many experienced hosts out there and they have shared their own trials & tribulations (as well as high points and successes!) within the pages. And it maybe that you will be able to help someone else with their own issues as you have a wealth of knowledge in your own background as well.

Best Wishes - and keep searching for that sound-proof bathroom door - it is out there! 🙂

Rachael

[Kirstie]

Thanks for coming back @Sandra76 - it's great to hear you've found everyone's advice helpful 🙂

Kirstie

[Cynthia-and-Chris1]

@Sandra76  Any thoughts on our comments?

[Branka-and-Silvia0]

@Sandra76

if you can not rent another room because of extensive use of bathroom and "sounds" you all have to listen than maybe you could consider contact Airbnb and ask to relocate your guest to another, not shared apartment. You can just say you are not comfortable with him.

He would be more suitable for the "whole house/apartment" then for a room with shared bathroom and other areas.

[Rachael26]

@Branka-and-Silvia0

Sorry - but at the risk of getting too personal or argumentative - I must say I wholly disagree with your recent comment and assessment..... I think this guest is exactly where he needs to be and found @Sandra76 for a reason. Not only her unique background and experience, but her compassion, make her the perfect host for this guest's first venture out into his new life in a new town.

It is for Sandra to decide if renting her 2nd bedroom is her main priority over the next 2.5 months - perhaps helping this young man by providing a safe place to call home (and possibly even develop some more life coping skills) tops that.

And yes I understand that this type of hosting and extra care is NOT what Airbnb is all about..... and yes Sandra could ask for Airbnb to remove him as you suggest - but really? I can't think of a better home for him to be in right now (based on my conversation with Sandra) and certainly don't agree with your comment that this guest should be in a property all by himself.

But at the end of the day it is up to Sandra, and her Airbnb guest, and I hope we continue to be updated.

Best Wishes,

Rachael

[Branka-and-Silvia0]

@Rachael26 of course he is better with Sandra, but is Sandra better with him?  If Sandra likes to care for somebody for free even if she lose her income from another room of course she will do it. It is her decision , her life, her business.

I wouldn't.

But , If I would have medical  problems as this young man has then I would rent the whole house so I could have my own private bathroom and nobody has to listen to me or lose income because of me. That's my way of caring for others.