How to review a recent guest

[Kath9]

OK, I have tricky one. I had a booking for 1 guest, male, about 70. On booking, I sent my usual blurb about reading house rules blah blah and he replied that he was a host as well and therefore knew all about house rules (although, strangely, he had zero reviews as a host and only 1 as a guest from a few years prior).

Anyhow, he arrives, he seems lovely, well-spoken and intelligent. We had similar views on many things and we're having a great chat. He mentioned that he'd forgotten to bring his dinner, so I shared my dinner (and wine) with him (both of which he tucked right into). All seemed well at first, but then he began to make the odd inappropriate comment that made me feel quite uncomfortable. For example, he LOVED doing cryptic crosswords and had brought a bunch with him, so we did a couple the night he arrived. When he asked, 'shall we do another?' and I said OK, he replied 'here or in bed?' (smiling suggestively). He continued to make similar comments over the next 3 days as well as questioning me about my love life (which in my mind is no one's business but mine and close friends). Once, he got changed with his door standing wide open so that I was confronted with the sight of a FULLY NAKED man (I'm sure this was deliberate). He also then had a shower in the (shared) bathroom with the door open. I locked my bedroom door at night.

His last night, I came into the kitchen to find that he was making himself some dinner with stuff he'd scrounged from my kitchen. He hadn't bothered shopping for food for himself, so I guess he just thought he'd eat mine. When he finished eating, he said, 'now I feel like something sweet - where do you keep your marmalade?' Me: 'I don't have marmalade'. Him: 'Honey? Do you have any honey?' Was there something about him being a 'host' that meant we were now best mates and he could just help himself to my stuff?

So, this guy lives in my state and is likely to be back. In fact, he said as much, that he REALLY looked forward to coming back down and staying again. Although, overall, I enjoyed his company, his inappropriate comments and nudity made me feel extremely uncomfortable and I don't want him to stay here again. I also don't know how to review him - to be honest, I 'm worried that if I leave him a bad review, he might somehow confront me (as he now has my number, which he has used to message me several times rather than going through ABB messaging). BTW, guys, THIS is what the #MeToo movement is all about. Men making women feel uncomfortable and unsafe, even in their own homes 😞

Please help! (looking at you @Sarah977 and @Robin4).

[Kath9]

@Sarah977 @Alexandra316 @Helen427 @Robin4 and others, here is the guest's replies to my message:

Oh dear.... I’m so very very sorry about this. I know I’m a bit of a flirt, and it’s always tongue-in-cheek, but in this case it’s not been sufficiently evident. My fault, not yours. I deeply regret any discomfort I might have caused, and apologise most sincerely, without expectations of acceptance. And I give you my word that I will be very much more careful in future, when interacting with any woman, to take more care. Thank you so much for allowing me to stay. Sincerely, xx

My reply to this: Thanks very much for your reply xx. I thought it was probably just harmless flirting, which might be okay in a bar or somewhere where I could have just walked away. It just felt uncomfortable being in my home because we women don't really know what it could lead to! Thanks for your apology and being so gracious about it. Best wishes,  Kath

Him: You're more than welcome, Kath. I've been living alone for about six years and perhaps had forgotten some of the good manners my mother taught me... and I would like to thank you for bringing that to my attention. It's a wake-up call, and I've heard it.

How amazing is that? Accepting responsibility and apologising for his behaviour! I'm impressed! That was so worth it.

[Alexandra316]

@Kath9Wow! Result, for sure. Good on you, and him. 

[Rowena29]

Hi @Kath9 

I've been off line for a few days - I hopped back on with the intention of replying to your post about the message you sent this guest, only to find the story had very much continued over the next few days.

Can't open communication be a really wonderful thing?!

You and I and I bet nearly everyone on these boards have gone from thinking this fellow was a bit of a pervert creep,  to thinking far more kindly about him. And makes you feel enormously relieved and I imagine somewhat exonerated for feeling that you really liked him initially.

I don't think his response could have been more gracious.

And how refreshing to hear someone these days ( male or female) actually say,  This is my fault, I made a mistake and I'm sorry.   ( I almost feel a bit sorry for him now - he must be feeling dreadful. But still, far better that someone like you who is sensible and caring dealt with it. And I still don't get the naked bit   - especially given his generation, that very much transcends tongue in cheek flirty, which I CAN comprehend).

Still a great outcome all around.

I bet you feel a whole lot better.

Cheers

[Kath9]

@Rowena29 Yes, I certainly do feel better. It is SO refreshing to have someone take responsibility and apologise for their actions. I feel much more inclined now to leave a positive review (which I will do) so he's dodged a bullet there! A much better outcome for everyone.

[Sarah977]

@Kath9  What a great outcome. You couldn't have wished for better. Your initial feeling about this guest was on the mark- he is intelligent, well-spoken, nice, etc. he just overstepped without thinking (and is probably lonely and horny which blinded him to the total inappropriateness of his behavior) but meant no harm and wasn't actually dangerous. I really believe he will be conscious of his behavior in the future, thanks to you.

[Quang-Hai0]

I did an mistake as play the app without fully thought about that results to the property. I don’t remember that until today I see the email. I’m very sorry to Air bnb and the Muntri house. I will responsible about that with Air bnb and the property

Some peoples just very good on BARKING and JUDGING others very easy without LOOK BACK YOURSELF????

Did I get any money from that post?

All YOUNG BOYS , BEAUTIFUL GIRLS  but 

- NEVER

+ close the door properly at night 

+turn off the lights, fans after use

+the cup and glass after drinking also don’t wash

+ toilet paper throw outside the bin, let the water dripping out at night 

I never owe them any cents or do anything bad at the house. I don’t care what your bloody mouth comments. Go ahead please 

OMG. Very civilized and smart modern behavior. Haha

THE MUNTRI HOUSE is A GREAT PLACE TO STAY AND ENJOY THE HERITAGE ARCHITECTURE IN PENANG

Friendly Manager Vincent very helpful and friendly...

Tomorrow I will come back to say sorry about my mistake

U guys keep barking la. Enjoy ^_^

[Kathleen125]

I have been concerned with a person from Canada, a person who canceled the very nite before checking in and decides they deserve a refund even though there is a strict cancelation..They claim to be poor and also that they did not realize they only had a week left on a visa??(This would give guest plenty of time to honor their reservation)Air bb resolvement is stressful that I seem to be the problem and that this guest said that they would bother me until I pay them...and so, airrbb first closed the case in my favor.  And then allowed this person to continue sending messages that they will continue to ask for a refund.  (Harrassment)Myself, a 72 year old "very low income super host)have become very stressed over the freedom this person is allowed thru being blocked by resolution area and then yesterday feeling forced to give this person their request thru not leaving me alone.( Fear based decision) Also, guest has complete information on me and I have no idea who they are...I thought airbb secures the host with basic identiy and now I wonder if airbb protects this kind of behavior and fear...I blocked this person and trusted airbb resolvement.  All seemed ok until the guest sends another threat to continue to send me messages!!  I thought it best to give in due to harrassment from guest!!!And now, I am concerned about a change to resolution center to ask me if I would reconsider due to this person being allowed to clam they are POOR??I was forced into a $50. REFUND This guest had no real reason to not know about visa or not informing a cancelation until the evening before...cancel out myweekend bookings and my bill paying>>>and why airbb resolvemnt person opened up the case again and felt that maybe I would reconsider!!wow...abit scary and not feeling supported right now.