@MartnBean0 You describe yourself as well-traveled but you made a rookie mistake. It happens. Has it happened to you as a host? I don't think sticking to the cancellation policy or not is a black white issue. First of all, the cancellation policy is quite evident on the listing, so the guest is aware. Second, if you think you should be able to change your mind, I think the flexible policy would suit you best and Air BNB's fee waiver allows guest to have a "do-over".
As a host, I do allow full refund if I am able to rebook the dates. Was that an option offered to you? Or, was the date of your booking too soon so the host is not able to book?
There is another recent discussion discussion thread about this issue that you might want to read and participate and give your perspective. This forum is all about different points of view 😄