Can't help feeling despondent at times as a host

[Isabelle3]

Feeling slightly low after a very ordinary guest review when I went well above expectations, offering my best 25 years australian wine, lending best books, cooking, laundering, showering kids with gifts.... Yey amongst all my 5 stars ratings these the guests gave me 4 stars.  

You think you've made friends but it's fleeting and this experience pulls me down.  There is no pleasing some people and I feel this rating particularly harsh in the circumstances.  Sorry, I know I probably invest too much emotionally and pride wise.  🙂 for me it's much more than business, I give it my all.  

Does anyone else feel the sting of unfairness at times?  Ratings are all very well but so subjectives

[Ioanna0]

This is so true. I am my family give too much to our guest, we all make sure they are comfortable and get everything they need and personally I make sure that they know about our house before they arrive. Our house is in a village so I guide everyone to read the description and I tell them where the house is and if they don't like a rural area, that they should pick another place in the city. Still, even though they give me five stars on overall experience, they give me a 3 on location. I get mostly sad, but also angry, because we give people free rides to places when they don't have a car.

[Robin4]

@Ioanna0   But Loanna, You have 29 lovely reviews and you are a Superhost.....is it possible you are setting the bar just a bit high here!!!

You obviously do a wonderful job for your guests, and just keep doing what you do. I host to a standard....not what some 'reaching out' person in Airbnb tells me I should do. I make sure that when I give my guest a farewell hug, or handshake they are happier than when they arrived! That's all you can do, and as I have said in other posts....'You won't please everyone, but you will please everyone that matters'

Cheers.....Rob

[Ioanna0]

@Robin4 

Thank you so much for your lovely comment Robin. I know that I and my family are doing a good job hosting people. We care much about their comfort and we give what they need. It is just mentally exhausting when they expect the luxuries of a hotel, having paid 9 euros a night. I learn not to take it too personally, and so the times I get angry, or stressed, or sad are much fewer, which is good.

[Leah0]

I am sorry to hear this and am sending you a big hug over the Pacific.

In my short experience as a host, my most demanding guests offer the worst reviews. Consequently, I do my best to provide a beautiful place to stay and force myself not to ruminate on negative reviews and comments. I have also become more proactive and encourage prospective guests to book elsewhere when they begin asking for discounts, sleds, fishing poles, bicycles, late-check out, early check-in, additional guests over max occupancy, etc. etc. 

[Stephanie-And-Steven0]

I agree with just about everything being said here.

We've managed to hang on to our Superhost status but I swear, the more you do for a guest, they more they will drop your star rating. We have a particularly difficult time with our location rating on one of our two suites. That's totally frustrating because both suites are in the same house - one gets consistently high location ratings and with the other, we struggle to keep it above a 3.

It has reached the point where I have written in both reviews that some guests do not like our location. I have exagerrated the difficulty of getting in and our of the suite to the point where it just about sounds like if you are not a professional hiker, don't even bother, you won't be able to get down the stairs or the slope that leads to the house. I have said flat out - We are in North Adams. Do you want to come to North Adams? If so, great. We are in North Adams. If you do not want to go to North Adams, please book elsewhere.

They book anyway and then they complain about the town. Seriously, they do this.

Right now, I spend about a third of my time in communication with our guests, politely discouraging them from coming to our house. I'm not kidding about that either. I tell them we are not new, not accessible in any way, not toddler friendly. One of our last potential guests complained about the price and wanted to have his child overlooked as a person - had a ton more complaints. I found him two alternate listings, more suitable for him and went to Airbnb asking them to please make sure he had his fees refunded so he could apply them to his next booking at another listing.

I am learning that being a Superhost means knowing when to say, no. Unfortunately, sometimes it's as much work to say no as it is to just take the booking. But I won't take the hit - not anymore. I have never refused a booking where the place didn't get booked by a better guest for the same dates. Really. I think that has to do with the reasons people travel. Lots of people come to town for events. There are only so many choices they can make and we're among the best, in my opinion. Not because our place is the nicest but because we care about people's comfort. There are always going to be guests who do not appreciate that. My job is to keep those guests out of our house.

I don't always succeed.

I think the guest review should work like a ten-star system. 5 stars means a host has been adequate. There is water in the bathroom, a bed in the bedroom - whatever was promised on the listing is actually there.

The other 5 stars should be an "essay question" in other words, the written part of the review. If a guest leaves fewer than 5 stars, they don't have the right to talk about how much they liked the place. It's lying. If a guest leaves fewer than 2 stars, fine - they have the right to talk about what they felt was lacking in their experience. But this 3 and 4 star BS? Coupled up with a glowing review? No. I don't want those people in my house. They're liars - I know that's putting it bluntly but it's the truth. If you write a review as a guest and damage someone's ability to compete in a tough market and then at the very same time, you talk about how great they are because you feel guilty or you've got some stupid idea that perfection should be unattainable and it's all about you and your stay and the whole world revolves around you and all the rest of that crap - stay in a hotel. I don't want you. 

I wish I could say that to all of our guests but my husband is too nice, he won't let me.

When we are guests, if we can't leave a 5 star review we don't leave a review at all. Just because we don't love a place is no reason to hurt someone financially. 

I also believe only guests who have stayed in a minimum of three listings should even be allowed to post a review. How do they know how this listing compares to any others if it's the only one they've ever visited?

Don't kick yourself because you've had crappy guests. Talk to them, feel them out and, as much as possible, learn to say no to them before they wash up on your doorstep with their misery stick loaded for bear. If I have any advice, that's it.

Just my two cents. Time to scrub the toilets.

[Helen20]

I just wanted to say thank you, Stephanie from North Adams. What you wrote I found really helpful, as quite a new host. I love your perspective and what you say is so true. Thank you again 🙂

[Tom4]

Like a lot of hosts posting in this thread, I'm guilty of being too emotionally invested. Give me less than 5 stars? You hurt me bad, dear guest. You might not know it, but anything less than 5 stars is a dig. That's how skewed the review system is. 

Like Stephanie and Steven, I sometimes feel like the more I do for a guest, the lower my star ratings. S&S make some great points about reviews - if a guest hasn't gone on at least 3 Airbnb trips, they can't make a fair comparison and shouldn't be allowed to leave a review.

Also, it seems unfair that there are all these categories on which guests rate hosts, but only the overall rating counts toward a host's superhost status. I frequently have guests leave me 5 stars for every category except location (where I get a lot of 4s). And then they give me 4 stars as an overall rating. My location isn't even that bad. I'm in a quiet area of the city centre, 2 mins' walk from the subway and 20 mins' walk from the main shopping street. But anyway, location is dragging down my overall rating in guests' eyes. So all my effort on cleanliness and communication counts for nothing. This seems unfair. Airbnb should reward hosts who do an excellent job in areas with good but not 5-star-perfect locations (whatever that is). Surely all categories should count toward to your superhost rating. 

[Kara1]

A little off subject, but not really....ran across this tonight.  Shows how clueless and or ignorant some people really are.  It's good for several laughs, if nothing else.   🙂

It's answers to a survey a travel company had sent out asking people about their recent vacations.....

http://www.knowable.com/a/19-unbelievable-complaints-people-had-about-their-recent-vacations?utm_con...

[Robin4]

@Kara1 I had one that came fairly close Kara....Although I list my studio as NOT having a kitchen, I do provide cupboards both floor and overhead, a bench, an electric hotplate, sink, saucepans, fridge, toaster, kettle, all crockery, cutlery and glasswear. the guest pinged me for accuracy! She said in the little boxes with the review that say..."What can Robin Improve"...... 'We were disapointed there was not an oven or a dishwasher'!!!!!........I am pretty sure a Gordon Ramsey suite of stainless steel would not have satisfied this woman in this cottage that does not list a kitchen!! Thomas Cook....eat yr heart out!!!    cheers.....Rob 

[Kelly3]

@Robin4

This is an example of you give an inch they take a mile...

Maybe you can just mark that you have a kitchen, and take a pic of it and say - it is a simple kitchen?

I think these days, people just really don't READ. They don't even take a look of the amenities you provide.

Sigh....

[Robin4]

@Kelly3 Hi there again Kelly....Yeah, it's not as simple as that! It would be so simple to go that extra yard and put in an oven and a little bench top dishwasher but my local government approval to list requires the studio to have some shared facilities with the house and to classify it as a 'private room' rather than the self contained cottage that it is. It also shares the Laundry! Council zoning in this area is category 1 residential, meaning one residence on the alloted land space....no ifs, no buts, no exceptions. I know this limits my guest appeal somewhat! Many potential guests stay away from 'private rooms' because they don't want to run into some stranger in the hall on the way to the bathroom in the middle of the night.....and there is no way that will ever happen in my cottage! But these authorities are not fools!......they keep a close eye on all this sort of activity in their area, and if they see this listing appear as 'self contained' or apartment, they will immediately send me a 30 day notice to cease doing what I am doing.

Incidentally, one of the pictures on my site shows the 'food preparation' area but I don't show the fridge built into the cupboards or the sink, so this is not a part of the package that I choose to promote......once again for the above reason. But it is a lovely surprise for guests when they come to find out they will not be living in a shared space....it's a, well,  bonus for them!!

But this woman really did get to me...and you are 100% right Kelly. If none of this stuff had been there she would have grizzled but accepted it, but as half of it was there, she felt annoyed that I hadn't gone that extra yard and made it complete! I guess there is a certain logic there....but like you say, give an inch they will take a mile!!! Cheers.....Rob

[Jennifer143]

---

First of all, the wisdom in this post is fabulous. This post should be included in a host handbook for all future hosts. Those of us who go above and beyond need to hear this great advice from time to time.

I completely agree, in my first email interactions with a guest I tell them everything that might not be suitable for demanding guests in hopes of talking them out of booking, and when they fight for it, the ones that are left are usually great and flexible and sweet.

Chanced upon this thread as I had my first 3 star rating for a 1 night stay. 26 guests and this is my first 3 star for no reason at all, she was just a hostile and unhappy person and nothing I said or did made her engage with me so I could figure out how to make her happy. She complained about things in the private section of the review that were completely out of my control as she seemed to want hotel level service and amenities. I am still trying to figure out what to publically respond with since she wrote "the neighborhood is safe" as my review so if I go off about her I look petty, but I also can't let someone like this get away without admonished.

Since we never know how the reviews will look until they're made public, what do other hosts think about just tagging those guests in the response section "low scorer" so that other hosts can look out for them and be wary? I'm now worried about losing my superhost status too if I get additional guests that are impossible to please, and I"d rather not put another hardworking hosts through that, as it's tough enough hosting.

@Stephanie0 And Steven wrote:

I agree with just about everything being said here.

We've managed to hang on to our Superhost status but I swear, the more you do for a guest, they more they will drop your star rating. We have a particularly difficult time with our location rating on one of our two suites. That's totally frustrating because both suites are in the same house - one gets consistently high location ratings and with the other, we struggle to keep it above a 3.

It has reached the point where I have written in both reviews that some guests do not like our location. I have exagerrated the difficulty of getting in and our of the suite to the point where it just about sounds like if you are not a professional hiker, don't even bother, you won't be able to get down the stairs or the slope that leads to the house. I have said flat out - We are in North Adams. Do you want to come to North Adams? If so, great. We are in North Adams. If you do not want to go to North Adams, please book elsewhere.

They book anyway and then they complain about the town. Seriously, they do this.

Right now, I spend about a third of my time in communication with our guests, politely discouraging them from coming to our house. I'm not kidding about that either. I tell them we are not new, not accessible in any way, not toddler friendly. One of our last potential guests complained about the price and wanted to have his child overlooked as a person - had a ton more complaints. I found him two alternate listings, more suitable for him and went to Airbnb asking them to please make sure he had his fees refunded so he could apply them to his next booking at another listing.

I am learning that being a Superhost means knowing when to say, no. Unfortunately, sometimes it's as much work to say no as it is to just take the booking. But I won't take the hit - not anymore. I have never refused a booking where the place didn't get booked by a better guest for the same dates. Really. I think that has to do with the reasons people travel. Lots of people come to town for events. There are only so many choices they can make and we're among the best, in my opinion. Not because our place is the nicest but because we care about people's comfort. There are always going to be guests who do not appreciate that. My job is to keep those guests out of our house.

I don't always succeed.

I think the guest review should work like a ten-star system. 5 stars means a host has been adequate. There is water in the bathroom, a bed in the bedroom - whatever was promised on the listing is actually there.

The other 5 stars should be an "essay question" in other words, the written part of the review. If a guest leaves fewer than 5 stars, they don't have the right to talk about how much they liked the place. It's lying. If a guest leaves fewer than 2 stars, fine - they have the right to talk about what they felt was lacking in their experience. But this 3 and 4 star BS? Coupled up with a glowing review? No. I don't want those people in my house. They're liars - I know that's putting it bluntly but it's the truth. If you write a review as a guest and damage someone's ability to compete in a tough market and then at the very same time, you talk about how great they are because you feel guilty or you've got some stupid idea that perfection should be unattainable and it's all about you and your stay and the whole world revolves around you and all the rest of that crap - stay in a hotel. I don't want you. 

I wish I could say that to all of our guests but my husband is too nice, he won't let me.

When we are guests, if we can't leave a 5 star review we don't leave a review at all. Just because we don't love a place is no reason to hurt someone financially. 

I also believe only guests who have stayed in a minimum of three listings should even be allowed to post a review. How do they know how this listing compares to any others if it's the only one they've ever visited?

Don't kick yourself because you've had crappy guests. Talk to them, feel them out and, as much as possible, learn to say no to them before they wash up on your doorstep with their misery stick loaded for bear. If I have any advice, that's it.

Just my two cents. Time to scrub the toilets.

---

[David-Ronaldo-And-Mary0]

C'est la vie, there always will be someone who will feel important about not rating you what you deserve. Do no sweat it, it's not you. My wife and I try to be as nice as possible with our guests. Sometimes to the extend of driving close distances from our house when the need arises. When we have roses in our garden, they get some in their room, as well as they get an apple and and/or a banana, plus little candies on a small basket on their dresser. To this date, out of 20 visits, we got one 4-stars and the rest have been 5.  As you, we were deflated when we got a 4-star from a guest who slept one night in our house, cooked himself a diner in our kitchen and his complain, probably somehow valid, was that some friends  of us came that night and left around 10:00pm, someone laughed hard and far from his bedroom. He was advised that some friends would be arriving that night,  but what can you do, can't totally interrupt your social life and tell your friends to shot up. We were not drinking or anything like that

[Margaret0]

I totally agree demanding guests give the worst reviews. Sometimes though you have to remove the emotion and look at the feedback. It may be valid. 

I live 26 minutes walk from the city centre or a short 10 minute bus journey. I say that clearly in my listing. I even added a picture with a google walking map to the photos to be really clear. I also say that I am centrally located, which I am. I get comments all the time that I am not in the centre. I am not and I dont claim to be. One friend has said it is cultural. In Ireland or the UK people dont live right in the city centre usually. In Europe they do.

In the summer one guy gave me 4 stars on value for the double room after telling me it was cheaper than a shared room for four in a hostel. 

Another Dutch guy said the house was out of date and needed to be remodelled. Its 200 years old. Its meant to look like this and what do you expect for cheaper than a hostel...

Another guy complained (in private feedback) that he stayed in bed until lunchtime every day and there was loud talking downstairs. That was me talking to the other guest over breakfast and its my home where I live.  He also complained that his room door opened at night. That I acted on and got the door lock fixed and that I needed a new shower head (I did and I got one). 

You cant make everyone happy.  I am happy with my consistent 4.5 star ratings.  I let the rest pass me by except if a valid comment. 

Margaret

[Constanza----Connie--0]

They are paying for comfort, relaxation, and  independence.  Just like being at a Hotel room, but at your home.

Respect, and Privacy are of most importance t offer  your Guests. Having your friends over, regardless of how

long they stayed, how loud they laughed, is not appropiate.