Unreasonable guest-pectations

[Kathryn49]

My first real disappointment--two young women who seemed generally friendly and polite, if a little needy, stayed with me for five nights.  They asked for a lot more support and amenities than my other guests have, but I'm happy to do whatever I can.  Then at the end of the stay, they presented a parking ticket and told me they expected I pay it--even though they hadn't told me they'd rented a car mid-stay.  My last communication with them before this was my own text saying, "Please ask me any questions that come up!!"  I checked in every day this way.

Well, they didn't ask, and I am not psychic.  I knew they initially didn't have a car based on all the research they had me doing on ubers and lyfts and shuttles and buses--and also because I ask prior to arrival.  And, there are obviously street signs; this is how parking works.  I was honestly stunned at the level of "helpless entitlement" in their expectation that I be liable for their mistakes in the wider world, almost as if they thought this was a guided package tour with me worrying about every variable.  I'm not a camp counselor, my friends.  I don't guarantee your entire vacation--I guarantee comfort and support in my home.  If you trip and fall down the block, I do not pay your hospital bill.

Anyway, I explained that they never let me know they had rented a car and had never asked for any guidance, so I couldn't have prevented their mistake or now pay their ticket for them.  They insisted I was responsible, and then told me they would be contacting me and the company.  

I guess my question is:  Is there anything I should do, preemptively, when she's declared she will take action?  I'm frankly insulted that, after all I did for them--printer, beach blanket, research, guided walk, better printer paper, spring water instead of brita, wooden hangers instead of wire, special tea instead of coffee and, yes, a residential parking pass I buy for guests even though I have no car--they still found a way to feel wronged and felt comfortable trying to make me pay for their helplessness and carelessness.  They are young, so maybe they are used to others taking care of them and handling their mistakes, but that makes them terrible guests in the real world and their inexperience or lack of understanding now threatens to impact me.  Ideas?  I don't want to leave them a bad review; I just want them to go away.  Should I do nothing/is there a risk in waiting for them to make a move?  

[Eileen4]

Actually Kathryn, I did remember after I posted that two groups of guests brought their parking tickets to me too. Don't get me wrong--they didn't demand that I pay--but it was clear that they wanted me, as a host, to " do something" about it. In one case, I offered to take the ticket and write to the city, explaining it had been incurred by a tourist and that the parking situation had been complicated by a movie shoot taking place in our neighbourhood. I honestly thought the city would forgive the ticket--they usually do in these circumstances--but a few months later, the guest contacted me and was obviously angry because the letter had not worked. (I'd sent him a copy via email.) 

He then asked me for help again, at which point I had to say, 'Sorry, I don't have the power to do anything here'. He was very grumpy with me and complained that he would "just pay it." But given his response, I was glad that the review period had long passed. I got the feeling that had he had a chance to mention it in a review, he would have.

It's odd, but the fact that he (and the other group) came to me for help speaks to their hope that somehow I'll be able to magically make tickets go away. They don't seem to understand that they are crossing a boundary and having crazy high expectations of an ordinary citizen. Besides that, the tickets are not extortionate, especially for Americans right now since our dollar is so low. 

I've thought about creating a map of the neighbourhood with clearly marked zones and dates for safe parking, but honestly, I suspect that if I did that, I'd be creating an expectation that somehow I'm responsible for that aspect of their stay. I don't think that would be good for me in the long run, so I've avoiding doing it, although the temptation is often there.

[Kathryn49]

Right--it's this weird abdication of personal accountability that I would never indulge, even if I thought my host or hostel manager "should" bear some sort of responsibility, which doesn't apply here.  That's just not how life works--it's always up to me to make sure my ducks are in a row, and it's not a begrudging acceptance of responsibility: nobody can care more about my situation than I will; that's common sense.  That's travel.  That's life.

And if you happen to be a person who is comfortable relying on others to make sure things are okay, then make sure you communicate your needs clearly so the host has half a chance to help you. This episode was just straight entitled immaturity or something.  And they took one of my fancy towels.  Grrr.

But what I've learned from this is to set the tone better and set boundaries better, and make it clear that I am not a babysitter or best friend.  I kept deflecting instead of setting her straight every time she asked to join me for brunch with my friends and so on.  I just didn't know what to say to reorient her toward reality.

[Lyndsey2]

I think creating the map of parking actually takes even more burden off of you. Not only are guests responsible for folliowing all laws of a place they visit, you have gone out of your way to assist them in doing so. You could even attach a note to the map that says you are not responsible for any penalties they incur for breaking laws during their stay.

[Eileen4]

I agree it would be helpful, but the fact is I'm very helpful already. I have a great guide to the neighbourhood and inside the condo are supplies galore--I make it very easy for guests to throw together easy meals, do laundry, treat a headache or blister, etc. All the comforts of home are there.

I don't want to go too far because I don't want to inculcate a sense of total care, which is what it feels like when a grown person comes to me and wants me to fix their booboo (i.e., parking ticket). Besides, the one time I did try to help--by writing a letter to the city--I got no thanks for it at all. Just 'WTF, why didn't your letter work?'

I figure I do enough caring inside the condo and I don't want to extend that care outside of it.

It's just a way of setting boundaries and, really, this is a French province so learning a teensy bit of French to make reading parking signs easier just makes sense. 

[Aden1]

Thank You for reminding me why I want out of this business.  Its a Win Win for the guests and a total crap shoot for the host 

with no support from AirBnb.  The question we all have to ask ourselves is: Am I really this desparate for money?

[Cecelia13]

how do i block a guest