Host left hateful review and harassing me by messages

[Swati11]

As a first time user of Airbnb, i was unaware of the expectations at time of check-out. I even didn't read reviews of the host before booking another one. Later on, one of the host in Springfield, IL shared a house with us. seperate one bedroom. I arrived with my husband and kid, she was very rude with my kid and asked him to be quiet. I accepted it as she mentioned her children having exams, she even provided medicine to me for pet hair allergy which i didn't get when i entered but when I slept or used couch caused me breathing issues. However, I adjusted with all that by assuming its not hotel and cant ask for everything. Her sink was clogged but i still didn't say much as It was only two night stay. She kept checking with me to make sure she gets 5 star rating, she stepped in before checkout time and didn't give time to wrap up. 

After 2days, she asked to pay cleaning fees, I was already upset with her behaviour so I refused to pay. She got angry and started abusing me, called me Groos, Liar, disgusting and Mean. I rasied the concern to Airbnb but they are only behind settling the claim opened by host. She kept sending me messages everyday, asked me to put my review down, Airbnb requested the same thing. I didn't do it, she sent me pic of my kid playing in backyard and said I broke house rules, it wasn't mentioned anywhere but they said its not in house so we were not allowed to use however she let other guests played there. 

I don't know what triggered her anger so much, but its like a nightmare for me. I am scared to book Airbnb now and prefer hotel. Our first host did mention about not cleaning but in decent way and I communicated with them well that it was our first stay so we didn't know the expectations. She made me understand the expectation however never used hateful or offensive language. 

I opened up Claim with Airbnb but I don't think so they are doing much on this. I searched google and felt everywhere host is the victim however I can't explain what I m feeling because of her attitude and behaviour towards me and my family.  

Anyone faced this type of issue and what to do in this scenario. 

[Ute42 · Accepted solution]

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@Gordon0 

In situations like these some people always play the racist card - it's always the same pattern.

After this, I don't believe a word she wrote.

[Swati11]

@Ute42 No comments here because its not worth explaning to you how and what i felt after receiving her abusive messages. Nobody happily wanted to be a victim of racism or discrimination. So, until it doesn’t happen to you, noone would understand. 

[Swati11]

@Julie143 I learned lesson from First host when i saw her reviews in email which was too late because I was the first time User of Airbnb. They understood pretty well that it was our first stay and I will be more careful going on. There was a candy wrapper left by side table (not like actual trash) and She did confim we can leave the trash in the bin, she will pick it up. there were no food scrapes or candies on floor or anywhere, she misunderstood and i did clearup all these things. 

Apart from all that, as a host will you be calling your guest gross, liar, ashamed and mean. I would really like to hear Guest's comments on my post as well. 

[Linda108]

@Swati11   Most hosts that respond on this forum are very supportive of guests that report experiencing a difficult host but I agree with both @Julie143  and @Elena87 that both reviews for you and your family reflect a disrespect for the shared living accommodation rules.  However, if you could learn from these experiences by reading the full listing and communicating with the host before commiting to the booking you could find a place that is compatible with your expectations and you can be a respectful member of the guest community.  

[Swati11]

Thanks @Linda22 . I wasn't having much issues with the place or property but I definitely was expecting a little respect from a host. I don't want to spoil her reputation as might be possible its the only way she is getting paid so I understood all that. When i think about all that and host requesting me the same then I don't know how can you expect good reviews after disrespecting your guest.

I only and only had issues with attitude and behaviour. You can read the First host review about me and I am not compalining about them, why? because they called out the stuff respectfully. 

[Sarah977]

@Swati11  Of course everyone should show each other respect. You are upset with the host because you feel she didn't show respect in the words she used with you. Yet you didn't show respect when you walked away from 2 host homes, leaving a mess behind you. ( responsible adults don't leave a mess- that shouldn't have to be an expectation that is explained) It's very easy to use discrimination as an excuse- I would suggest that it was your behavior that was the issue, not the color of your skin or your ethnicity. Not only has this host welcomed guests of various races, she has given all of them good reviews. Except for you. So its pretty obvious she had good reason to do so.

[Swati11]

@Sarah977 I didn't behave rudely with the host and didn't call her out with names. Apart from cleaning which definitely second host is exaggerated (Candy stuff n all), didn't the first host mentioned I was courteous, punctual, nice and polite. Did you see anywhere second host mentioned anything positive. On a discriminaton note, it didn't happen based on color and skin, it happened because I didn't give my reviews as I was travelling back n forth with kid. It seems like one negative review won't impact as all of them given good reviews then why hosts complain about 4 star ratings. You can see her reply to 4star guest, Do you think only 125 people booked her property? It might be more than that and so many like me didn't review her property. 

I don't think so I didn't show respect to the host else i would not have apologize to first host.  

[Sarah977]

@Swati11  You say the first host talked to you nicely about leaving a mess and you apologized. So you obviously understood that leaving a mess wasn't acceptable. Yet you didn't learn anything from that experience- you went on to leave the next place a mess, and sorry, I find it totally implausible that the bad review you were left regarding the mess was due to "one candy wrapper".

[Swati11]

@Sarah977 I came to know after 14days since we left 1st host because I didn't know it's both way review and didn't check. By that time, we already spent two nights at second host. I am still staying in Airbnb, i think you all should make a judgment call afterwards if the current host leave a review.

[Mark116]

@Swati11  You say you didn't understand the cleaning issue with the first host, but yet, it happened again, with the second host, and it sounds like, if anything, the second place was left more messy than the first.  So, it seems like you may not be suited for an airbnb situation where there are expectations that the guests follow the rules and leave the place clean.  And this is fine, not everyone is a good match for the airbnbn experience, some people are more comfortable and a better match for hotels.

While i thought the host's review was not very professional and too personal, it seems, from an outside perspective that the problem here isn't discrimination but a failure to follow the rules, and leaving the listing quite dirty.  Also, for future reference, if you don't tell the host that something is not working, like the sink or the wifi, they have no opportunity to fix it, which sounds like what happened here, that you never communicated there were any problems with the stay until you wrote your review.

[Swati11]

@Mark116 It sounds like more messy because she is saying so, it wasn't the case like candy crushed, atleast I was honest in my review. Whatever she mentioned in house rules for cleaning I followed like - Cleaning pots, dishes, leaving the used towels hanging,departure time confirmation, leaving the lights off, she sent a pic of the house rules and i told her we followed all. Trash in bedroom was a Candy wrapper - will you say it a lot of trash. There was no candy crushed, she found a candy wrapper so she mentioned as candy crushed. 

I do appreciate that you understood my problem, her review was unprofessional, I don't know what to say about her messages - unethical and immoral

[Mika8]

.. and this are the expectations from airbnb (which you agreed to creating your airbnb account)

11.1 As a Guest, you are responsible for leaving the Accommodation (including any personal or other property located at the Accommodation) in the condition it was in when you arrived.

https://www.airbnb.ch/terms#sec8

[Swati11]

@Mike0In that case plz read 10.2 as well where ratings and reviews should not contain offensive and inappropriate language. 

[Noel102]

There is nothing at this point you can do but move on and learn from your experiences.  It does sound like you are better suited for a hotel accommodation, but I would recommend if you have a desire to continue using AirBnB, you need to find yourself a way to earn some glowingly positive reviews because a lot of hosts will not accept bookings from a guest with only two reviews, of which both are very negative.  I look not only at the reviews the guest receives, but also the reviews they give, so I know what type of review I am likely to receive.  I am one of those hosts who not approve a booking request from you.

[Swati11]

It seems like people actually didn't see the issue I faced or mentioned but favored the Host because she has good rating and reviews. I realized except few hosts like @Mark116 understood the point but most of people agreed that It's okay to leave hateful review and disrespectful to your guest or someone, Its okay to click guests pics and do privacy breach. Hosts asked me to read the policies however they didn't read the policy for leaving reviews. 

I think I will move on and won't be using Airbnb anymore. I hope it will be my last stay in Airbnb this week and will manage in fututre but a Big No No for Airbnb. Unfortunately due to one reason or another, my experience wasn't good where I constantly need to think about the restrictions and rules, stopping my kid for everything he does, not enjoying my stay and not letting my family enjoy as well. Its the fear of doing something wrong unknowingly and unintentionally and get disrespected later on, paying fees or extra charges are bearable but not respected by someone is unacceptable for me. I would never call someone like that in my life.