Help and Advice please - Have guest taking over my house

[Jane178]

Please can I have some advice, I am a new host and only on my second booking - A young couple arrived on Saturday, I offer bed and a small continental breakfast (which I put out every mornng), they can use the kitchen, as long as it is left as they find it and provide their own food. - so far, they have helped themselves to food in the fridge which is mine, eaten the fruit set aside for the next days breakfast, and drank all the jiuce in the fridge. Gone through my cupboards  and helped themselves to condiments, stock cubes etc, and then he had the cheek to tell me one of my sauces in my fridge was out of date and he'd left it on the side for me to dispose of - I nipped out to see a friend last night, while they were in their room, they locked my front door so I couldn't get back in and took 5 minutes to open the door and when I walked into the kitchen it looked like a bomb had gone off and when I asked him to tidy up, he said, we're just watching a movie, we'll do it when it's finished.  Then to top it all off today, I walked past their room when the door was open and he's moved my television across the room!!!  Please help, I feel like a prisoner in my own home.

[Helen3]

Unfortunately you don't have any house rules regarding use of your kitchen (or items within it) so going forward review and include these.

I think you need to sit down and have a friendly chat with your 'guests' over a cuppa. Confirm what you (hopefully) told them when you showed them around

1) that the items you have available for breakfast are only for breakfast- so not to be eaten at other times

2) if they make a mess in the kitchen they need to clear it up straight away - it's not acceptable to say they will do this later as it is a shared space

3) they shouldn't be using your personal items in the kitchen or fridge (hopefully you have given them separate cupboard space/shelf in the fridge so there can be no confusion)

4) they are not to move furniture around

5) it is not acceptable for them to lock you out of your own home

Follow up by confirming this in writing through BNB messaging so there is a record.

.

[Jane178]

Hi Helen,

I did go through all this with him when he first arrived, and made space for them to store ther food on my dresser and in the fridge - but he seems to think it was funny when I asked him to respect my things earlier tonight.  I am going to have a conversation with them both in the morning before breakfast.  He has asked for a key and I have declined.  Thank you for your advice and help Jane

[David126]

The first thing is to make sure they understand what is and is not acceptable, have you done that?

[Jane178]

Hello, Yes I thought I had made it clear, however I am going to go through things again tomorrow and see where that takes us. Thank you

[Sandra126]

They don't have a key?

[Dee9]

Put their stuff on the porch and lock them out.

[Cynthia-and-Chris1]

If you believe you have made yourself clear and the guest is still not respecting your rules, I would get Airbnb to intervene instead of trying to talk to them again.  Doesn't sound like they are very reasonable.  Airbnb should be able to get them rehomed and out of your place.

[Jane178 · Accepted solution]

How do I contact Airbnb to discuss this with them, I am finding it hard to navigate around the site and can't see where to contact them. Thank yu for your help and advice, it's a bit of a minefield when you're new.

[Ruth19]

These are my contacts with Airbnb

community-support@airbnb.com

response@airbnb.com

02 85203333 my local Sydney office may put you through to your local Airbnb helpline?

There is absolutely no reason you need to put up with rude behaviour in your home. Ask them to leave, you dont owe them a refund I would imagine either unless you would prefer to offer it. 

[Scott80]

"while they were in their room, they locked my front door"

So the front door has to remain unlocked when you are not there? I sure hope you put that very prominently in your listing. There is no way in heck I would stay in a house or leave my stuff where I was not allowed to lock the front door. So if someone comes in the unlocked door and steals your stuff from the shared space, are you going to blame the guest? What if the someone comes in a harms the guest, do you think forcing the guest to leave the front door unlocked, would not be considered negligence?

I think this idea needs a rethink--either take your key and give the guest a key or use a keypad lock.

[Trinity-And-Cristina0]

oh dear, doesnt sound very pleasant.. i had a guest who rearranged the room, but as long as nothing was broken, i just placed it back in its original place once they left..no big deal! if it makes them more comfortable and provides a better experience, whats moving a televison back into its place? and for the food, I find leaving a shelf in the fridge and a shelf in the cabinet empty for their own food helps separate and make lines clear that everything else on the other shelves is not to be touched, unless asked. i've had guests ask for stock,  oil, or seasonings and its not a problem, they are in your home for only a short amount of time, so why fight about it? but if it's getting out of hand, i suggest asking them if they have read the house rules, and that they need to provide their own food in case they didnt get that message, and the kitchen needs to be cleaned as soon as they are done using it. not whenver it suits them best...the worst that happens is they make a little mess and then they are gone. you can write your opinion of them in their reviews for future guests, making it harder for them to find decent hosts in the future. unless they are staying with you for a while, then i too would start losing my head about it...

[Olivia-and-Olivier0]

I agree, the lenght of time they spend is also an issue... If it s an every-day behaviour going on for weeks, I would probabbly mention it the second time it happens... Considering first time might have been an "emergency" or they just didn't realise it.

Also being pleasant and polite i find to be the "new curse"... had several guests being fakely pleasant, but continuing to do the same thing, or acting as they did not know/understand. Puting someone out-on-the-curbe could be risky if they have your house hey now (or a chance to make a copy) or if they are still in the house they might damage things, before leaving. I thought being picky and only accepting 5 stars guests would be good, but even that seems to fail sometimes, because people would rather not mention things just to not make a huge deal... but these small rule-breaking habits that keep on happening, could indicate something to a future host, when deciding to accept this person as a guest. So yes, over time, i learnt to give harsher reviews, in the interest of helping future hosts.

[Ricardo309]

I feel sorry that you had those invasive guests on first experiences. It can be really uncomfortable to make some people understand your are happy to receive them BUT they have to respect your home.... It does sometimes come from lack of communication but whenever we are too kind we can always get overwhelmed by big personalities... I actually try to make fun of the situation in order to raise the problem. Not that easy for sure...

[Sarah977]

@Ricardo309  Yes, sometimes a bit of humor can diffuse a "situation" while still getting one's point across and people take it better than if they feel they're being attacked. 

There are a lot of hosts who seem to wring their hands and fret, not knowing how to bring something up with guests, letting the behavior go on far too long, building up resentment. Better to say something right away when guests appear to misunderstand or be taking advantage. Many situations which leave the host feeling victimized are due to the host allowing themselves to be taken advantage of.

People who shy away from any confrontation and are afraid to speak up will have a difficult time home-sharing. There's no need to be nasty or get into an argument (if a guest refuses to comply with house rules and basic respect, "This doesn't seem to be working out, I think it would be best if you look for another place and we cancel the rest of your stay" is more productive than trying to reason with an unreasonable guest), but being too "nice", so the guest views you as a mousy pushover, can be disastrous when dealing with the pushy, entitled types.